Ask Athena: falling behind

“Everyone around me is so in love. They’ve got something going on. It’s high school, I get it, but I feel so left out of such a key teenage experience. Plus, I’m a senior now! It's about time I do something - better late than never. So, how do I bring my best self to the social game? Sincerely, Falling Behind.”

Dear Falling Behind, 

It's natural to feel isolated when it appears that many of your peers are experiencing romantic relationships, while you remain single. However, it's important to remember that there is no predetermined timeline for entering into such relationships. It's perpetuated in the media that one must be in a relationship in high school, but that is simply not a reflection of reality. 

You may feel that you're behind, that your peers are more grown-up than you, and that you're playing catch-up. But remember, everyone moves through life at their own pace. Don’t date just because it’s a societal expectation. Don’t date because everyone else is. Date because you genuinely want to connect with someone. 

That being said, it is wonderful that you want to present your best self in social and romantic contexts, so please consider the following:

1. Be approachable and engaged: Demonstrate kindness, maintain eye contact, and show genuine curiosity in others. Smile and be friendly to others. People will naturally gravitate towards you if you demonstrate warmth and openness. 

2. Cultivate self-confidence: Genuine self-assurance is the foundation of meaningful relationships. Reflect on your strengths, interests, and values, and embrace these qualities. Authenticity tends to attract others and fosters deeper connections. 

3. Broaden your social circle: Be friendly to people you would not usually spend time with. Expanding your social network can introduce you to new individuals who share your interests and values. Participate in clubs, extracurricular activities, and community events. 

4. Foster meaningful friendships: Many successful romantic relationships stem from strong friendships. Build emotional trust first - the rest can follow.

5. Take risks: Should you feel an interest in someone, consider initiating a conversation or invite them to spend time with you. While it may feel daunting, such steps are often necessary for personal growth and relationship building. If your risk pays off, then congratulations. If not, that’s okay too. Life keeps moving, and so will you.

6. Be patient: Romantic relationships often develop over time. Patience with yourself and others prevents unnecessary pressure. 

Remember that romantic relationships represent only one aspect of the rich and varied experiences life has to offer. Embrace opportunities for self-discovery and personal development, and trust that meaningful relationships will emerge in their own time. 

Best of luck!

Sincerely, 

Athena